Top Ranked funniest one liners by twitter (View Consensus)
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1. if i had to describe myself in one word, it would be 'bad at following directions'. if i had to describe myself in one word, it would be 'bad at following directions'.
2. i'll never forget where i buried that hatchet. i'll never forget where i buried that hatchet.
3. compromise: an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted
4. if nobody knows the troubles you've seen, then you don't live in a small town.
5. it ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat!
6. it's time to clean the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.
7. i need a backspace key for my mouth.
8. if it's free, it's advice. if you pay for it, it's counseling. if you can use either one, it's a mir
9. the economy is so bad that exxon laid off 25 congressmen.
10. i went to the missing persons bureau to make a report. no one was there.
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